Last week Don and I went on one of our favorite hikes at Silver Falls. Silver Falls State Park is a little less than an hour drive from us and it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been! The total hike is about 7 miles and it takes you in front of, on top of and behind 7 waterfalls. We brought a picnic lunch and had a great day! I attached a few pics from the trip, but they really don’t do the waterfalls justice.

Two days later Don took off to Southern Cali for his grandmother’s funeral. He isn’t back home yet but we have spoken daily and he is grateful he was able to make and support his father, aunt and cousin. His father gave the eulogy which Don said was beautiful and would have made his grandmother proud.

With Don being gone for the past 5 days I have been busting my bunns with school! I have to say that the further I get into this program the more I know that this is the job I was made for! My course work is fascinating and I love my clinical site! I am currently in a community mental health clinic with a Psych NP. I love the patient population I am getting to work with I feel like I learn something new every day. I really feel like God has planned my life out for this career, even though years ago I swore I was done with this field!

While going to nursing school I worked community mental health for three years. The entire reason I went to nursing school was for the sole purpose of working in the psychiatric field and actually being able to pay my bills (mental health pays nothing, even with your MSW or Masters in Counseling). I worked at both an inpatient drug treatment center with adolescents and later at a homeless shelter for teenagers. By the time I was done with nursing school I was totally burned out on mental health. I had worked at the lowest level in the field and saw some pretty awful and unethical things. So I graduated from school and thought I was saying farewell to the psychiatric field forever. Needless to say I grew just as burned out working critical care for the next 3 years and found myself back in the psych hospital, as an RN of course! When Don and I decided to move out here from South Fl I applied at OHSU for the PMHNP program out of boredom. We were new here and Don was always away at school, work or conferences. I didn’t know anyone here yet so I figured I might as well go to school. It sounded like a fun “hobby” and it has actually really grabbed my attention. Also it has been a great distracter while working on this baby thing!

As far as the baby thing goes another week has passed and no baby in sight! I have taken multiple pregnancy tests and I still see only 1 little pink line… Next week we start the big hormones! Keep us in your prayers!

Another day, another IUI

Hello friends!!! This past week has been very hectic! We had a great Valentine’s Day! Our home is so close to downtown that we took a nice walk into the city and had brunch at one of our favorite restaurants, Veritable Quandary. As always the food was great! Don had a monte Crisco that had French toast as the bread. I had a sweet potato, red onion and gruyere cheese quiche. It was amazing! It was great to go out to eat. Before dealing with all of these fertility issues we used to go out to eat all the time. Now it is only for a splurge. While we were downtown Don bought me a beautiful dress. I can’t remember the last time I bought an article of clothing so that gift meant a lot.

As you know I once again took Clomid at the beginning of the month to create more follicles. On my ultrasound last week there were 14! Without the Clomid there would have been only one. As usual I took of the ovulation test and it finally turned on Monday, so yesterday we did our last IUI. What made yesterdays IUI so special was that Don had a great sperm count. That has never happened before. Dr. Hessla even said he was optimistic! I was so excited to hear him say that that I even saved the receipt to possible show our future baby. Needless to say, I spent yesterday afternoon and evening on the couch, with my legs in the air, watching “Dexter.”

On a sad note, this week Don lost his grandmother on his father’s side. Although I never met Felice Mitchell I know I would have loved her. She had a passion for shopping, Disneyland and most importantly cats! Please keep Don’s family in your prayers. Don’s Aunt Anna and father, Donald, are devastated by this unexpected loss.

Tonight when I get home I will post the girls Valentine’s Day photos. This year they dressed up as fairies. Their pics are perfect!

Our mock embryo transfer!!!

Today was a big day for our family. We got to have “the talk” with Dr. Hessla!
Our morning at Dr. Hessla’s office started off as it usually does with an ultrasound to check out my “stuff.” What I did not realize was that along with looking at my ovaries, he also wanted a good look at my uterus. The only way the uterus can be viewed is if the bladder is full. I was under the impression that he was going to do the uterus check last, so I had not filled up. Turns out he wanted it first, so I could empty and he could then look at everything else. Needless to say, I was able to drink a gallon of water in 5 minutes and the exam continued beautify!

Today’s focus was on
How my ovaries are responding to the Clomid (Dr. Hessla said my ovaries are beautiful and every woman’s dream!!!)
To complete a mock embryo transfer. Although in the real transfer I will be done under anesthesia, for this procedure I was wide awake. The primary goal was that my cervix would allow the catheter to pass, and it did!!!
Doppler study… Basically Dr.Hessla wanted to check the blood pressure/ flow of blood to my uterus. He said the flow was great!

What I was extra excited about today was that we finally got our official “IVF calendar.” In the next two months you will hear all about my calendar! The calendar goes day by day from February 26- April 16. Each day there are a list of medications I must take, blood that must be drawn, ultrasounds I must have, ect. All I can say is that taking off two weeks from work in April is not going to be enough! Getting pregnant with IVF is truly a full time job!

I don’t want to get into all of the details of the calendar, but the first medication I will start off with is birth control pills… Yes, that is right… That is what Dr.Hessla has determined to be our problem, we need more birth control! This, along with the bowl full of condoms in his office made Don and I crack up today. Nothing about this process is intuitive! It turns out he wants me on birth control so all of my eggs will devlop at the same rate, so when we do the real egg retrieval they will all have the same maturity. I will take those for twenty days, along with starting Lupron (injection hormone,) Dexamethasone (steroid,) Aspirin (to keep me from getting blood clot from all the hormones,) Prenatal vitamin, and Doxyclcline (an antibiotic due to all the invasive procedures I will be going through.) More meds will come as the cycle progresses….

We also discussed the reality of an actual child coming from this. I know this sounds crazy, but I often forget that a child is the focus. It is so easy to get side tracked with all the tests and meds…. I actually discuss the possibility of being pregnant was overwhelming. Dr.Hessla reviewed our labs, radiology reports, ect and said that the IUI we are doing next week gives us a 5% chance of a pregnancy. Although that is low, we will still march ahead with it. He then said if we do IVF when we have scheduled it, we will have about a 70% chance on pregnancy on the first round. If we do get pregnant there is a 55% chance that it will be fraternal twins. The chances of triplets are less than 1% and, in his office, this outcome is viewed as the worst possible scenario.

Right now I am exhausted… Between school, work and Dr.Hessla my plate is full. Tomorrow Don and I plan to go for a nice hike and get our minds off of this whole process. I have attached some pictures from Dr.Hessla’s office. It is such a strange place! When we first started going there they had financing forms throughout the office like the ones you see at a car dealership. The top of the forms had various headings like “Financing for your family,” and “We make your dreams come true.” On each form was a photo of a beautiful baby, as if choosing them for your financing would somehow guarantee a kido. Anyways, the forms are gone, but the office remains quite strange!

I also want to send out thoughts to a friend, M, who has just gone through IVF in Hunrgy! She is back in teh states now, but she deoesn't yet know what the results are. I know she is scared and hoping for a miracle. My prayers are with her tonight and I am sending her extra special baby thoughts….

Why we chose Dr. Hessla!

Hello friends! Another week has gone by in our world and nothing has changed. I have seen Dr. Hessla twice in the past 5 days. At both appointments I had my traditional ultrasounds and a follow up with the nursing staff. The RN's at ORM are so supportive and informative. Yesterday they had a whole packet they went through with me that gave a mock calender and explained all the additional testing we have to complete. We each have about 50 lab samples that have to be obtained. The lab tests range from checking us for HIV to Rubella. Additionally it was recommend we be tested to see if either of us is a cystic fibrosis carrier. I also started back on the Clomid 3 days ago and I am in so much physicl pain! I can't stand the hormones, but I know it will be worth the wait! I have to say, even though Don and I are RNs, this world of infertility is a whole new ball game for us!

Coming to grips with our infertility has been a process for both myself and Don. I knew right away that something was wrong, Don however thought we just had to try harder. This went on for about a year when I finally said "This is it. We are going to Oregon Reproductive Medicine!" ORM has an amazing reputation in the community. Dr. Hessla's success rates are some of the highest in the country and it is a 6 month waiting list just to meet the man!

Professionally I am a RN at Doernbecher Children's Hospital. I love my job! I don't have a traditional RN role, rather I am in the float pool. In float pool you are not assigned to one unit, rather you call in every morning and find out where you are needed for the day. I float to 6 units; peds medical, peds surgical, peds hematology and oncology, neurological surgery step down, pediatric intensive care unit and and the neonatal care unit. What I love the most about my job is that I get to see something different everyday and follow patients throughout their complicated stays from one unit to another. The other thing I love is bonding with the parents of the kids I get to take care of.

When I first started in the float pool I was in the neonatal care unit all the time. Most of the babies I take care of there are "feeder growers," which basically means they were born prematurely and need time to get big and fat. One of the biggest causes for prematurity is a mom carring multiple babies. Working in the DNCC I was exposed to tons of babies born via IVF, so I started asking the mom's for details. I was amazed at how open these women were with me about the physical, emotional and financial toll that IVF had taken on them. Over and over again I heard Dr. Hessla's name.

Don and I first met Dr.Hessla about 1 1/2 years ago. Going to his office was so strange! Later on I will post some pics from his office.... It is a little weird. The first thing that ORM did when we checked in was take our photograph. Apparently, the 4 doctors in the ORM office have weekly rounds to discuss the patients. When they talk about a specific case they project the couples picture so that everyone on the team knows exactly who they are talking about. At the top of this posting is a copy of the picture they took of us! After our photo session Don and I were lead back to Dr. Hessla's office. He immediately go the ball rolling.

After reviewing our charts he was very honest with us. He said that with each round of IUI we only had a 10% change of getting pregnant. He thought IVF would be better and would have about an 80% chance of working the first time. I can hear people reading this and asking "Why not just do IVF then!" Well, first off Dr.Hessla said that finiacially it would majke sence for us to do 5 rounds of IUI. IUI costs about 5% of what IVF costs. Also with IUI I only have to have two months ultrasounds and the whole process takes 2 weeks. IVF is ridiculously expensive, takes 6 weeks with every other day ultrasounds, injections, ect. Needless to say, the IUI we are doing this month is our last and we will start preparing for my IVF cycle to start in March! Wish us luck! I will post another update next week. Next Tuesday we have a meeting with Dr. Hessla to work out all the details and we will start on out way!